break the back of foolish pride .. (shatteredinside) wrote in departists,
break the back of foolish pride ..
shatteredinside
departists

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falling apart.

i managed to find a peice of paper crumbled up in my backpack. i`ll post it here. written on october 26.


my world is once again falling apart. pain is a constant feeling. my heart is too heavy with things unsaid and kept locked deep inside. anger pulls me further into the black hole that i call my shattered life. my intense, burning pain is a constant reminder of my life and the loss of love i feel. taking everything one day at a time burns me up inside. i fake my own happiness. the pain i feel is seen and forgotten by those i call my friends. i pull away. i'm broken. i've been hurt so many times that loving is close to impossible. i'm cold inside. i feel the ice run through my trembling and broken body. it freezes my very soul. i feel pain in ways i never thought i would. i'm held down. i cry out to nothing. i'm torn. my once warm, precious heart is shattered and never to be repaired. i'm so alone in this cold, cruel world that survival is becoming impossible. i hold my head up high to fool everyone, but i can't fool myself. i know this pain. i know my broken life and torn heart. one breath at a time brings little hope of a pain free life. i long for release. each new beginning brings more pain when i start on a smooth road.
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